The Magical Mash-Up

How's this for a cheery thought?


"What has been will be again,
   What has been done will be done again.
     There is nothing new under the sun."
                            Ecclesiastes 1:9

No, I'm not here to tell you any attempt at originality is doomed to fail; I'm here to offer a back door to it. Or maybe even a sewer pipe; you may have to crawl, you may have get dirty, but look at the bright side--no one's expecting you to come climbing up through the shower drain! And isn't that what originality is all about? No, no, not showers--stick with me here--but surprise. Unpredictability. Spontaneity. Originality.

If you're like me, you've probably had head-banging sessions over this word. And not the Rolling Stones kind. The literal banging-your-head-into-the-wall kind of thing. The pressure to be original in a world where there is "nothing new under the sun" can be agony--if you're trying to get through the front door. 

But if you follow me through that sewer pipe--or back door, if you have a sensitive stomach--then maybe, after you've slapped on a few band-aids, you can save yourself and the wall a lot of needless pain and step into a future positively shiny with new possibilities.

Okay, disclaimer: this isn't some kind of new idea; it's been done before, many, many times by many, many people in literature, film, television, Glee, and everyplace else. Which is exactly why I'm bringing it up now. It works.

The mash-up.

I have a deck of cards. They don't feature stoic queens and kings who look in dire need of some Pepto-Bismal; they feature genres. I have a card for steampunk, and western, and post-apocalyptic, and dystopian, and farce, and forbidden love. Sometimes, when I'm bored, I take them out, shuffle them, turn them all face down, and play Match.

The results can make me cringe, laugh, and--sometimes--gallop across the room to the computer, where I can set the magical pair down in the stone of MS Word. 

The thing is, this can work with practically anything: movie titles (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days meets Alien, anyone? Or how about The Godfather meets Toy Story? Meh...) books (God forbid, do not say Twilight meets The Hunger Games), or heck, even people, places, and times (Marie Antoinette in 1940's New York)! Okay, the mix-ups won't always work, and sometimes they just plain stink, but the potential here should be invigorating to anyone with pen, paper, and a little imagination.

I know you are all very intelligent people, so I know you can see what the point of all this is. But for those of you who just love zingy one-liners which crisply summarize everything pizzazzily (yes, it's a word--I just invented it), here you go (no promise of zinginess or pizzazz): If you want to be original without the agony of being original, try a mash-up. 

And then imagine the glorious tones of James Earl Jones (Trekkies, don't shoot me, but honestly--who else could it be?) booming across a starry night sky: Mash-ups... the final frontier... 

And off you go.

Oh, and always keep in mind: There are some mash-ups which should really never, ever, ever be let out to roam free and terrorize the general populace:

Best Books on Writing

Hullo hullo!

It's time for a much-needed post, I think. I haven't been lazy, you should know, just busy writing, editing, and now querying Perfectly Pia. And the worst thing about querying is the waiting. Well, I guess it's not that bad, since it means I now have time to do some blogging.


Anyway, today I want to throw out two books to all you writers out there. If you've been writing for a while and frequently browse the writing section in your local Barnes & Noble, you'll recognise the titles. These are, in my opinion, the best two books on writing you could find. And any self-respecting would-be author should probably not write another sentence until these two books are thoroughly read. I did take a two-day break from writing to read them, and wish I'd read them years ago. They'll change the way you write and the way you think about writing in wonderful ways.


The first is the timeless classic The Elements of Style, by Strunk and White:

This glorious little tome is the remedy to weak or uninteresting prose. It's short, sweet,  unapologetic, and cuts to the bones of writing. Categorized into useful chapters and numbered rules, Elements is a quick read and an easy book to come back to for quick references, and pretty much any writer who is going to recommend to you the best book on writing is going to recommend this one. My favorite rule from Strunk: OMIT NEEDLESS WORDS. 'Nuff said.

Speaking of writers who recommend Elements, one of these has also written a fabulous book on writing called, well, On Writing.

The first section of this book is actually King's memoir, in which he focuses on the events in his life which made him the writer he is. You may be tempted to skip this section, since, after all, we're writers and barely have time to write, let alone read someone else's biography. But before you skip ahead to the good stuff, give the memoir a try. It'll suck you in, a tendency King seems to have in his writing. And often it's laugh-out-loud funny. Most of the book does deal with writing, and King's approach is the most humble, honest, and passionate I've seen from a writer talking about his craft. King has a unique and enviable way of making you feel like he's sitting across the table from you with a cup of coffee, just talkin', you know, bein' folks. His conversational tone is addictive and makes what looks like a massive book fly by in a couple of hours. I enjoyed every minute of On Writing, and know I'm a better writer for having taken the time to read it.

So my advice to you? Get them (borrow if you must, but I suggest buying so you can come back to them again and again), read them, and keep a highlighter very close to hand. You'll need it.

Dear, Lovely Readers:

I understand I have not posted in several weeks. :(


Just a note to say I'm not really slacking off. I've just been nose-deep in writing. Perfectly Pia is within days of completion, and in order to have it ready to pitch at an upcoming conference (to fabulous agents Jenny Bent and/or Miriam Kriss fingers crossed!) I have devoted all my time to writing like a fiend. 


Apologies for the negligence; I will be back soon.


Jessica

Shelley Waters/ Victoria Marini First-Page Contest Submission

Here's my entry for Shelley's contest!

My book is a 107,000 YA fantasy entitled The Heiress of Rhiangar. Here goes!

It was, Miles concluded, an awkward position. He was trapped with his back against the north gate, every avenue of escape blocked by the advancing princess. She grinned, winked, and shook a coy finger at him.

"Not thinking of running again, are you?" Princess Brianette asked.

"Actually, I am," he replied, juggling several possibilities in his thoughts. Go left and trample the rare mourning lily his master so prized. Go right and have to fight his way through thorn-riddled shrubs. Going forward would require shoving the princess out of the way, which he did not dare do. Looks like it'll have to be right.

"You odd little flower boy." Little? She did realize, didn't she, that he had two years on top of her fourteen? Leave it to a princess to ignore such details concerning her lowly subjects. "You know, boy, you are the only one in the palace who acts this way towards me? It is not natural."

"Not natural? To want to keep my head on my shoulders, Highness?"

A bubble of frustrated laughter fluttered from her lips. "What, you think my father would have you beheaded, just because of one teensy kiss? You are an incomprehensible fool."

"Better a fool than a criminal, my lady, which is what I would be if someone saw us now." It was easy for her to say. She was the princess here, not him. Apprentice gardeners didn't enjoy the same degree of leniency in the courts of Chrysanthem. It was true Brianette had yet to actually be caught during one of her escapades, but Miles didn't intend to be anywhere nearby when it did happen. 





Here are the details of the contest: http://shelleywatters.blogspot.com/2011/06/birthday-blowout-first-page-contest.html?showComment=1309026256814#c802962658053595387

Be a Writer Site Ninja!

There are so many fabulous writing websites out there, and I’m sure I’ve not even discovered half of them. Each one is a little bit different from the others, it seems, and is pertinent to a different stage of the writing process. So wherever you are with that first, second, or nineteenth novel, there’s a site for you!

What I’ve done here is list the websites I’ve found most useful for each of the stages of writing a novel, and the order in which they can be used.

PHASE: Writing

Okay, let’s face it, this is the longest and most grueling part of the process. It involves draft after draft, a pile of scrapped chapters, failed characters, ruinous endings. It takes time, tears, energy, and often you must sacrifice a little bit of every other area of life to it. Your grades fall, your house stays a wreck, your friends wonder if you died and didn’t even take time off from writing to schedule your own funeral. You feel like you’re writing in circles. You’re stuck in the reincarnation cycle, and you can’t find that door labeled “Nirvana” anywhere.

The key to not getting burned out? There are several.

www.hatrack.com The Forum on this sight is small, tight-knit, and friendly. It’s also very helpful. Most Attractive Feature: you post your first 13 lines and get feedback on just those lines, based on the theory that that’s as much time as an agent is going to give you before they toss your ms—and your dreams—into the dumpster.

http://www.newpages.com/literary-magazines/ Want to build up those publishing credits before you start querying? Send out short stories! They take a day to write, a day to revise, and a minute to email. Send them out in droves; chances are someone will pick one up. And voila! A publishing credit! And sometimes—and arguably even sweeter—a cool 7 cents per word payment. Those 7 cents add up quick.

http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/home/index.html Just so you can check back every few days and remind yourself that yes, people are selling their books every day, so it is possible, now stop stalling and get back to your ms.

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/ Just because its fun to imagine your book on the home page. A sort of private pep rally, y’know. At least, it is for me.

PHASE: Feedback

Your manuscript is finished… but is it any good? You need beta readers, baby! Here’s where you can find them:

www.authonomy.com This site, run by HarperCollins, is going to require as much giving as taking. If you want feedback, you’re gonna have to give it. Best idea is to get connected in the forums on the site and find crit partners through that. But there’s a sweet little reward for those who put in the time and make a lot of connections: If you’re book becomes one of the most-backed books on the site in a given month, you get a free read and review from HarperCollins!

http://www.critters.org/ This runs on a kind of karma system. You crit, you get credits, you get critted back. For a novel, you can put in an RFDR (request for dedicated readers) which will get you a few faithful readers who will go chapter by chapter and give you their feedback.

***Whatever way you decide to get beta readers, remember you’re going to have to give as much time as you ask for, and sometimes more. It’s only fair. Be prepared to do as much reading as you do writing. And it’s good for you! Critiquing others’ work and making contacts with other writers can be one of the greatest rewards of the writing process. Enjoy it!

PHASE: Query Writing

Ah, the dreaded query letter. They say you should take an entire month just to work on your measly, one-page query. Yikes much? But its true. The query is everything, unless you plan to use the back door of self-publishing. And do not send out a query until you’ve had a lot of feedback. I can only recommend one site for this:

www.agentqueryconnect.com A wonderful site with great feedback, and fueled as always by the give-and-take karma principle. These people are nice, but they can be brutal. Good practice for the next phase, querying—toughens up your skin a bit. But take the critiques graciously and with a pinch of salt, and know your query will be all the better for it.

PHASE: Querying

The query is polished, gleaming, riveting… everything you dreamed it would be. Now it’s time to put on the old armor and prepare to do battle with the publishing world. Okay, well, maybe not battle. Let’s be optimistic here. It isn’t You versus The Agent… but sometimes it does feel that way. Be prepared to receive rejections, both helpful and many generic forms. Keep the armor handy and don’t let anything make you give up. The key here is perseverance, just like you learned on those TV shows as a kid. When it comes to querying, it always comes to research. These are the sites you’ll need to be acquainted with:

www.agentquery.com

www.publishersmarketplace.comBoth of these sites have agent directories, and lists of agent contact info, recent sales, preferred genres, and other pertinent information.

http://www.pred-ed.com/pealf.htm Are all your agents trust-worthy? Find out here.

http://www.guidetoliteraryagents.com/meet_the_editor.asp Great advice on finding an agent and a lot of great agent interviews.

http://motherwrite.blogspot.com/ Lots of great interviews with agents.

By FAR the most helpful site I’ve found for this phase of the process is:

www.querytracker.net

It lists thousands of agents and publishers, as well as any other sites where additional information on the agents can be found such as interviews and marketplace listings, as well as agents’ personal websites, blogs, and twitter accounts. Plus, other querytracker users will leave frequent and helpful comments about their own querying experience with each agent. You can also run reports on how often an agent asks for partials or fulls, their average response times, and what genres they most often ask to see. There is also a forum on the site which helps you get feedback on your first five pages, your query, your synopsis, and other things. The best thing is that you can keep track of each query you send, the responses you get, and the agents you still want to query. You can personalize your list of agents you want to contact and keep track of the queries as they go out and come back in. Immensely helpful, especially if you are by nature unorganized. And it sure beats an Excel spreadsheet!

Whatever phase you are in in the writing process, there’s probably a site out there that will help. Beware anyone who asks you for money, though, unless it’s a proven service like Writer’s Digest or Publisher’s Marketplace and you want all those extra fancies that come with paid membership.

Have fun, be wary, and write on!

Book Cover!

I joined Authonomy.com today in an effort to find more beta readers (living in a tiny town like I do, they are pretty hard to come by) and when I saw the fabulous covers people had with their books, I decided to make one myself. So I fooled around with a few programs (ArtExplosion Publisher, Manga Studio Debut, Piknik.com) and voila! Hopefully one day I'll have a fancy publisher who will make a much, much better one, but for now...

Writers on Writing

Some of my favorite quotes about writing! Enjoy!


Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.  ~E.L. Doctorow


Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very;" your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.  ~Mark Twain


Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.  ~Anton Chekhov


If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood.  I'd type a little faster.  ~Isaac Asimov


A writer and nothing else:  a man alone in a room with the English language, trying to get human feelings right.  ~John K. Hutchens, New York Herald Tribune, 10 September 1961


Do not put statements in the negative form.
And don't start sentences with a conjunction.
If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a
great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
De-accession euphemisms.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
~William Safire, "Great Rules of Writing"


Be obscure clearly.  ~E.B. White 


When something can be read without effort, great effort has gone into its writing.  ~Enrique Jardiel Poncela


What no wife of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working when he's staring out of the window.  ~Burton Rascoe (I dare insert "husband" instead :)


The best time for planning a book is while you're doing the dishes.  ~Agatha Christie (so, so true)


How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.  ~Henry David Thoreau, Journal, 19 August 1851


Write your first draft with your heart.  Re-write with your head.  ~From the movie Finding Forrester


Loafing is the most productive part of a writer's life.  ~James Norman Hall


The best style is the style you don't notice.  ~Somerset Maugham


I want to write books that unlock the traffic jam in everybody's head.  ~John Updike